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Whether it is Britney Spears or the latest alternative band, it appears that everyone is talking about Threesomes lately. Even a few weeks ago the Red Eye ran an article discussing the good, the bad, and the ugly of threesomes. In a heterosexual relationship threesomes do not take place very often. There is always the question “do we add another guy or another girl?” Unless one person in the relationship is bi or one person is extremely comfortable with their sexuality, then the chances of a threesome taking place are virtually zero. However, in the gay community, this problem does not exist. Instead, many guys fantasize regularly about threesomes and many have had one.

SO WHAT IS THE DANGER?

The Reason Behind Having One: If you and your partner are having a threesome just for fun, establish boundaries, and just go at it, then great, you are doing nothing wrong. You’re having an incredible night, lots of fun, and well that is about it. However, there can be a problem when you have a threesome for other reasons. I will call this reason Legal Cheating. In many instances, one person in the relationship has grown tired and may have found someone else they are interested in and use the threesome as a way to be with that person legally.

In the bedroom many things at that point can go wrong, the two break off from the other one leaving the one to fend for himself and definitely feel left out. Next, feelings could be developed between the two and before you know one is leaving one for the other. This is definitely a risk that must be thought about. Although if this is the reason for one in the relationship having a threesome they will more than likely break things off eventually…so in theory does it matter if that risk is there? It will happen eventually.

Jealousy Even though both of you may be doing it for fun, there is a great chance that one may become jealous because one is given more attention to the other. This can lead to fights after the threesome even in very healthy relationships where there is no need to fight!

Reputation There is also always the worry of getting that reputation around Boystown that you and your boyfriend are always the ones at the bar looking for a third. I’m sure those of you reading can think of a few couple already that are known for this. I will refrain from mentioning their names

At the end of the day there is nothing wrong with threesomes as long as everyone agrees on ground rules and that it is just for fun and won’t turn into a love triangle. Just make sure you are comfortable with it! Also, try not to plan them. There is nothing more awkward than planning a threesome. Have a few drinks, have some fun, let it happen naturally and it will actually be worth your time. If you plan them…well…everyone will feel like a fish out of water and that is never good.