TwinksWhoBuyDrinks.com

I was at Pops for Champagne to see Amy & Freddy’s show on Black Wednesday and having a great time. I was surrounded by friends and a great bottle of Champagne with incredible Martinis to follow. I noticed an older couple walk in, with who appeared to be their son and his boyfriend. The son sat down by the bar next to his parents and his boyfriend did as well. From the moment they walked in it was apparent that his boyfriend was a “latch-guy.” What do I mean by latch-guy? I mean a guy that latches onto you and will never let you away from his side. His boyfriend had his hand on him when he was walking in, taking off his coat, ordering drinks, and his hand firmly on his thigh throughout the performance. I noticed even when the son would get up for something, perhaps to adjust his seat, the boyfriend only grabbed harder. Several of my friends noticed this and found it rather amusing.

After seeing this I was half tempted to send a drink over to the guy, how funny would that have been! But I contained myself and did not partake in such an amusing (and controversial) act. However, it got me thinking “what if your boyfriend is a latch-guy?” For instance, with this couple, what happens when they go to club? When one needs to use the washroom? God forbid what happens when one starts a conversation with another guy? What are your thoughts? Has anyone been in this situation? I guess this can sometimes be typical for a brand new relationship, but what about those who have been dating for a while?

My personal opinion is that it is very unhealthy, smells of insecurity and instability, and doesn’t allow either to live their lives.

One movie I always seem to enjoy is Hitch with Will Smith. Call me whatever you want but there is something about that movie that tugs at my heart strings and makes me smile and laugh. One of my favorite scenes from the movie was when Will Smith was first introduced to his “love interest” Sarah. If you remember the scene properly another guy bought a drink for Sarah however, it was the wrong one. He bought her an Apple Martini (probably figuring she was drinking one b/c she was a girl). Will Smith (Hitch) however, paid attention to the details, asked the bartender what she was drinking and brought over the correct drink – Grey Goose Martini, Dirty.

So the question is, do people still send drinks over? Does someone say to the bartender “I will have another, and send one to the cute guy across the bar with the scarf?” I hope the answer is yes. As cheesy as it may be, if it is done on those very rare occasions then it can be quite classy and unique. Sure, you can walk up to someone, introduce yourself and offer to buy a drink but there is still something special about sending a drink across the bar and seeing the look of surprise on the persons face.

What are the rules?

1. Make sure the person is single. Nothing can be more embarrassing then sending a drink across the bar to someone you are interested in and then see them pass it along to their significant other.

2. Make sure you SEND THE DRINK THEY ARE DRINKING! All you have to do is pay attention to details and if you do that, you will send the right drink. If you can’t figure out what they are drinking; ASK THE BARTENDER!

3. Don’t think that just because you bought them a drink they now have to come over. Give them a quick smile maybe a nod and continue on conversation with your friends. Don’t feel that just because you bought them a drink that they OWE you something. They owe you nothing. You bought the drink to be sweet and kind and leave it at that. If they happen to come over and talk to you then all the better.

4. To piggyback on number 3. Let them come over to you! Don’t go chasing after them, it is rather sad.

So next time you are out and want to start conversation with someone, perhaps be a bit old fashioned and send a drink over. Maybe…just maybe someone will send one to you and maybe..just maybe, it will a Twink that will buy YOU a drink

Scarlet Frat Night is something I have never attended and honestly never had too much of an interest in attending. In college I played beer pong, etc. but was never too interested. However, I was browsing the Chicago Pride website and saw it advertised, and I received some texts from friends who were attending so I figured why not! I threw on my polo and track jacket and headed to Scarlet. I arrived just after 9pm and it was relatively dead. However, after an hour a decent crowd started to shuffle in. The specials were great – 40oz Miller, 26oz Corona, and Martini’s all priced at $5.

Once “Next Top Model” was taken off the TVs the music started playing and Scarlet had a great vibe. I was very impressed with the amount of cute guys throughout Scarlet; all of whom seemed very laid back and just enjoying the night. I felt very relaxed at Scarlet and was very glad I came to Frat night. They did have the typical college games throughout and free pizza to complete the theme and I look forward to going back next Thursday! I would definitely recommend everyone check it out at least once and you never know perhaps a twink will buy you a drink!

Saturday evening I found myself at Minibar with a couple other “Twinks Who Buy Drinks.” Since Mini-Bar opened it has received positive press from many while also receiving equally negative reviews. Many call the place pretentious claiming the majority of people who go there are arrogant, full of themselves and basically assholes.

I have always defended Mini against such claims of pretentiousness; however, this past Saturday has left me scratching my head. Typically I am at mini during the early evening after work, or after I have had much too many drinks and shots. This past Saturday I was still sober while at Mini when it was crowded. I could not believe the rudeness of so many people. I am used to crowded clubs whether gay or straight and used to being bumped into, but not with the frequency I was getting bumped and drinks spilled the other night.

I challenge those of you who do not know how to walk through crowds properly to learn! It is not that difficult. Sometimes you cannot avoid stepping on a foot or spilling someone’s drink, however, most of the time you can. Perhaps if you “bumpers” ventured into some of Chicago’s “rougher” bars and clubs you would learn when you “bump” into the wrong person.

Also, I challenge you to learn how to walk through crowds so Mini doesn’t keep a reputation of being full of arrogant assholes. I have several friends who do not go to Mini for this reason and it ruins it for the whole group. It is not their fault they don’t like Mini, it is the fault of the few assholes who still have learned how not to be assholes. Will they ever learn?

The Equality of Illinois Wine Tasting that was held yesterday evening (Wednesday evening) at Sidetrack appeared to be a great success. The wine was excellent and very reasonably priced if you chose to make a purchase. The cover charge was $20, which all went to Equality Illinois. If you decided to make a purchase of wine that evening, NONE of the purchase price was planned to go to Equality Illinois, however, with good reason. The wine distributors have been amazing at making donations to Equality Illinois events such as the Gala. So wine tasting events such as the one yesterday evening allow us to raise money for a great cause, while making some money for the distributors so they are able to make sizable donations when they are needed most. It was truly a great event and I would like to thank everyone who donated wine and food.

There were many great community leaders at the event such as the owner of Sidetrack who was very grateful for everyone who walked in the door and supported the cause. Then of course there are the usual, I will be nice and call them idiots, that “MUST” come out, not so much because they enjoy supporting such a cause but because god-forbid we miss a chance to pick up a twink, get them drunk and bring them back to our house or boat. But hey, at least they were there supporting; the money went to a great cause!

Whether it is Britney Spears or the latest alternative band, it appears that everyone is talking about Threesomes lately. Even a few weeks ago the Red Eye ran an article discussing the good, the bad, and the ugly of threesomes. In a heterosexual relationship threesomes do not take place very often. There is always the question “do we add another guy or another girl?” Unless one person in the relationship is bi or one person is extremely comfortable with their sexuality, then the chances of a threesome taking place are virtually zero. However, in the gay community, this problem does not exist. Instead, many guys fantasize regularly about threesomes and many have had one.

SO WHAT IS THE DANGER?

The Reason Behind Having One: If you and your partner are having a threesome just for fun, establish boundaries, and just go at it, then great, you are doing nothing wrong. You’re having an incredible night, lots of fun, and well that is about it. However, there can be a problem when you have a threesome for other reasons. I will call this reason Legal Cheating. In many instances, one person in the relationship has grown tired and may have found someone else they are interested in and use the threesome as a way to be with that person legally.

In the bedroom many things at that point can go wrong, the two break off from the other one leaving the one to fend for himself and definitely feel left out. Next, feelings could be developed between the two and before you know one is leaving one for the other. This is definitely a risk that must be thought about. Although if this is the reason for one in the relationship having a threesome they will more than likely break things off eventually…so in theory does it matter if that risk is there? It will happen eventually.

Jealousy Even though both of you may be doing it for fun, there is a great chance that one may become jealous because one is given more attention to the other. This can lead to fights after the threesome even in very healthy relationships where there is no need to fight!

Reputation There is also always the worry of getting that reputation around Boystown that you and your boyfriend are always the ones at the bar looking for a third. I’m sure those of you reading can think of a few couple already that are known for this. I will refrain from mentioning their names

At the end of the day there is nothing wrong with threesomes as long as everyone agrees on ground rules and that it is just for fun and won’t turn into a love triangle. Just make sure you are comfortable with it! Also, try not to plan them. There is nothing more awkward than planning a threesome. Have a few drinks, have some fun, let it happen naturally and it will actually be worth your time. If you plan them…well…everyone will feel like a fish out of water and that is never good.

So you may be sitting at home, or at work for that matter, reading this blog and the first aspect that will jump out at you is the name “Twinks Who Buy Drinks.” It may cause you to scratch your head, look confused, or a very small portion of you may understand what I am trying to highlight. However, since most are probably not the ladder please allow me to explain.

The concept that many may have of a “twink” is a young twenty something that prances around from bar to bar looking for that “special” person more than likely just for the night. They carry just enough cash to pay covers and maybe buy one drink. The rest of their drinks they plan to snag from older gentleman who wish to take them home. They engage in mind-numbingly stupid banter just to get attention or look “sexy” until they find that “special” someone.

Unfortunately this stereotype does hold true for some and we all know at least a few. They are the ones always looking for a free drink, free lunch, free dinner or god-forbid all three! However I have noticed that this negative stereotype has been taken too far and as a “twink” myself I would like to set the record straight that many of us are not like that. Furthermore, not all men in their 30’s, 40’s, or 50’s that we are friends with are kept around simply because they buy us drinks.

Many of us are successful. We are college educated professional individuals. Some of us have started our own companies, are self-employed, are in the business world, are PhD students and Med Students. Some of us own our own places, some rent. We volunteer in the local community and we give back. We are educated beyond the walls of the institutions where we attended school by reading books, traveling, attending theater, and learning from those we know to be much wiser.

Some of us do have friends that are older than us, in some cases twice our age. However, we enjoy their company, we enjoy their wisdom, but most importantly we enjoy their friendship and who they are as people. While we may get bought drinks now and then we also reciprocate by buying drinks and of course the occasional shot.

We may play hard, but we work just as hard if not harder.

Unfortunately this does not describe all of us. There are still those who freeload off anyone willing to give them the time of day and they cry about the little problems they have to anyone who will listen. If you are reading this and you are one of these lost souls I challenge you to grow up and act your age, yes that is right, your age! There is nothing wrong with being 23 and hitting the bars every night, but there is something wrong if you do that and only that. If you do not go to work and expect others to pay for your drinks, if you cry about your problems instead of fixing them, and if you only hang around with people because they take care of you but you refuse to give anything back in return. I challenge you to turn the stereotype around.

I am a Twink Who Buys Drinks  and proud of it